I Am An Idiot About 100% Of The Time | Phil Miller

I Am An Idiot About 100% Of The Time | Phil Miller

Friday, September 1, 2017

In the six years that I’ve been walking with God I’ve learned many lessons, gone through personal growth, and received plenty of grace for the times I forget who I am in Christ.  Over this past year, if there’s one thing that I can point out as the most important thing He’s taught me - is that I’m an idiot about 100% of the time and the He loves me anyway.  

It’s funny how the Christian walk goes.  At first thought you’d think that the longer a person has known Christ, the more he/she would feel like a saint.  But in reality, in my own experience, the more that I’ve grown to know God, His Word, and myself, the more I realize how crappy I am as a person.  In the first couple of years after becoming a Christian, my arrogance and pride made it super easy to trick myself into thinking God had made me into a perfect person already.  I elevated myself over others, acted like I knew everything, and wasn’t real with how horrible I actually was.  

But the more I got to know the Bible, the more my knowledge of sin increased and, little by little, I realized how much of an actual loser I am on my own.  

With all of this self-realization happening over the last couple years, I had a real hard time struggling with guilt and doubt.  I came to the point where I found it really easy to believe that God would forgive and love others, but never actually believed He would forgive me for my sins after committing to follow Him.  I would find myself sitting in my own self-pity, wondering if I’d ever “get back” to the good old Phil I was when I first decided to follow Jesus.  That was until I God caught my attention through a guy named Paul in Romans 7.  

God taught me that even though I am a believer, I will still struggle with sin since I still live in the flesh.  Super encouraging, huh?  Well, where the amazing part comes in is in the truth that immediately follows this passage: no matter how badly I mess up, I can’t do anything that takes away what Jesus did for me (Romans 8:1).  

God’s made it abundantly clear to me that it is because of His doing that I have the privilege of knowing Him through His Son (John 6:37).  Since it is because of Him that I can be a child of God, it is because of Him that I continue to be one even in my shortcomings.  I suck at being a decent person on my own, but God still calls me His own no matter how I’m feeling.  So moving forward I now know that it is important to remember who I am and what I know.  I am no longer the Phil I once was (Galatians 2:20), but am new.  And even when I feel stuck in a rut, God hasn’t given up on me (Philippians 1:6).  Grace over sin.

When You Question Your Worth | Tat Blackburn

When You Question Your Worth | Tat Blackburn

Monday, August 28, 2017

About 3 years ago, I bookmarked one of my favourite blog posts to my browser so that I could go back to it whenever I needed it.

I need it often.

It's a blog post about worth and worth is something I question almost daily. I'm sure you do too.

When did questioning start for you? Did someone hurt you when you were young? Did a boyfriend or girlfriend or best friend break your heart somewhere along the line? Did someone act as if they didn't care? Did someone tell you that you had to be better or speak smarter or do more? Did you start comparing yourself to those who seemed to have it all together? Did someone tell you that you weren't enough?

My dear friend, when did you start believing that you were worth nothing?

I don't know who you are or what your story is but I'm here to tell you, that annoying little voice that's telling you you're worthless is a lie straight from the pit of hell.

Friend, you're significant not because of what you've done or said or what you will do or say in the future. You're significant simply because of who you are.

You are smart and you have things to contribute to this world.

You are beautiful and a magical work of art.

You are kind and full of grace and a blessing to those around you.

You are all these things and more and even if you don't contribute something incredible and life changing on this earth, you'll still be all these things and more.

You're allowed to have bad days and you're allowed to have a day (or fifty) where nothing goes right - that doesn’t change how much you're valued.

That's the beautiful thing, love. Your worth doesn't change no matter what you do. You're valuable and significant simply because you are, because you exist.

I hope you know that today and everyday. I hope you find a way to remind yourself of that and that one day, the questioning will stop and you'll just know how valuable, significant and worthy you are.

Show Me Your Glory | Josiah Rock

Show Me Your Glory | Josiah Rock

Friday, August 11, 2017

For the past few weeks I’ve been reading through Exodus and I’ve learned more about worship than I ever have. And let me first say that I was not expecting Exodus to be a book that taught me how to worship. Maybe the faithfulness of God. Maybe why trusting in the goodness of God is absolutely crucial. But worship? Not really. Then I got to 33:18, when Moses pleads with Yahweh God, “Lord, please show me your glory.”

Please show me your glory.

I have so much respect for that. He could have asked for a lot of things. He could have asked for more water because they were in a desert. He could have asked for better leadership skills or more cooperative people. But no, Moses was so in awe of God that all he wanted to see was the majesty of Him. That’s how I want to be 100% of the time. In awe. 

Okay, so that part stopped me in my tracks, BUT IT GETS BETTER. God’s response to Moses blows my mind, and it should blow yours too. He says back, and I’m paraphrasing, “Sure, but here’s the thing. I can only let you see a tiny glimpse of a fraction of my glory because no person can see my glory and live.”

WHAT.

God’s glory is so awesome, so powerful, so beyond words that we can literally not handle it. I have a God-given guarantee that I would die if I saw the fullness of the glory of God right now. That is wild. The realization that God is far beyond my highest thought of Him is groundbreaking for me, honestly. He is so beyond description that these words I’m typing right now can’t even get 1% of the way to describing it. His glory is infinitely greater than my ability to fathom, and knowing that has changed my life.

The reason I say all of this is because it’s changed the way I worship. It’s changed the way I view worship. It’s changed how I prepare to worship. I was slapped with the realization that I was guilty of subconsciously thinking of the church music team as the “opening band before the keynote speaker”. Not even close. Worship music isn’t there so that we can see a concert or to get us in a churchy mood.  It is so much more than that. Worship is the pure ascription of worth that is due God. And He deserves it all, not because he needs a little weekly self-esteem boost or because he likes good tunes. He deserves it because of who He is. And He is infinitely glorious.

Rest | Anna Loewen

Rest | Anna Loewen

Friday, August 4, 2017

Friend, I am exhausted. 

I'm so tired of striving. Tired of sinning. Tired of living as a slave to how I think others perceive me. (Which is a pointless exercise, by the way.) Tired of the thousands of people I deal with every day at work. Just tired. 

And I bet you are too.

If you, like me, are trying to tick off a dozen little boxes and accomplish 762 things at once, I see you. 

The thing is... I was afraid to rest. Afraid that if I rested, I would run out of time to do what I needed to do. "I'll rest when I'm done," I thought, "I just don't have time to rest right now. There's too much to get done."

Well honey, let me tell you! Was I ever wrong. Because now here I am, my first thought in the morning something along the lines of... 

"Lord help me stay awake at work today." 

Or better...

"Lord help me not punch anyone at work today."

Just kidding. But kind of.....

Seasons come and go.

In some seasons I "fake rested" because I was afraid to truly rest. In some seasons, I just kept running, as if maybe I will be the one exception on this planet, and perhaps maybe I'll get by without resting. In some seasons, I have to spend 10 hours a day at work. In those seasons, the to-do lists stack up. The feelings of failure gnaw away at my heart. And the last thing I have time for is a nap. But friend, I need a nap. No phone, some fresh air, and a glass of iced tea sounds like an absolute slice of heaven right now.

I know it's hard. Trust me, I don't have time to rest either. But we need to. Don't worry about developing a rhythm of Sabbath yet. You don't need another thing on your to-do list to accomplish. But you'll get there, don't worry. Soon you'll delight in rest. I promise. 

I'll leave you with a quote that I love from the wonderful ladies at She Reads Truth,

"Cling to Jesus and do the next best thing."

And if you’re tired of failing, here’s a verse to rest your heart.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9