I Am An Idiot About 100% Of The Time | Phil Miller

Friday, September 1, 2017


In the six years that I’ve been walking with God I’ve learned many lessons, gone through personal growth, and received plenty of grace for the times I forget who I am in Christ.  Over this past year, if there’s one thing that I can point out as the most important thing He’s taught me - is that I’m an idiot about 100% of the time and the He loves me anyway.  

It’s funny how the Christian walk goes.  At first thought you’d think that the longer a person has known Christ, the more he/she would feel like a saint.  But in reality, in my own experience, the more that I’ve grown to know God, His Word, and myself, the more I realize how crappy I am as a person.  In the first couple of years after becoming a Christian, my arrogance and pride made it super easy to trick myself into thinking God had made me into a perfect person already.  I elevated myself over others, acted like I knew everything, and wasn’t real with how horrible I actually was.  

But the more I got to know the Bible, the more my knowledge of sin increased and, little by little, I realized how much of an actual loser I am on my own.  

With all of this self-realization happening over the last couple years, I had a real hard time struggling with guilt and doubt.  I came to the point where I found it really easy to believe that God would forgive and love others, but never actually believed He would forgive me for my sins after committing to follow Him.  I would find myself sitting in my own self-pity, wondering if I’d ever “get back” to the good old Phil I was when I first decided to follow Jesus.  That was until I God caught my attention through a guy named Paul in Romans 7.  

God taught me that even though I am a believer, I will still struggle with sin since I still live in the flesh.  Super encouraging, huh?  Well, where the amazing part comes in is in the truth that immediately follows this passage: no matter how badly I mess up, I can’t do anything that takes away what Jesus did for me (Romans 8:1).  

God’s made it abundantly clear to me that it is because of His doing that I have the privilege of knowing Him through His Son (John 6:37).  Since it is because of Him that I can be a child of God, it is because of Him that I continue to be one even in my shortcomings.  I suck at being a decent person on my own, but God still calls me His own no matter how I’m feeling.  So moving forward I now know that it is important to remember who I am and what I know.  I am no longer the Phil I once was (Galatians 2:20), but am new.  And even when I feel stuck in a rut, God hasn’t given up on me (Philippians 1:6).  Grace over sin.

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