Merry + Bright | 2016 Wrap-Up

Merry + Bright | 2016 Wrap-Up

Friday, December 23, 2016

Well. Here we go.

2O16 was good to me. I'll be honest though, I started it pretty confused. I had a lot to work through and a lot of questions, but I was confident that there were things worth hoping for ahead. Not in a melodramatic way, but I just knew that life was changing for the better. And peeps, I had no idea what was coming. 

I almost never talk about it, but a month before Christmas last year one of my siblings went missing. I'll never forget that night. It was an experience that left me feeling cold deep into my bones. I've experienced terror and heart-pain before, but not quite like that. Looking into the eyes of a police officer as you describe details like height, build, what they were wearing, and seeing nothing but grim statistics and hopelessness is heartbreaking. Thankfully they were found, through a series of events I can only thank God for, but the details and dangers of those long days made me rethink everything in my life. It showed me who was worth keeping around, and taught me that the people you love should never be taken for granted. So I set out on a mission that would change me from the inside out--to live with a purpose of grace, and love the broken unconditionally, no matter what. 

And that's an easy and eloquent thing to say, from where I'm sitting in a lazy chair with Ben Howard strumming, and some earl grey in my Darth Vader mug. But as I'm sure you've learned from following this blog, it's a lot harder to live. Especially for me. I'm insecure, full of silent pride, and battle my own selfishness daily. Oh, I'm great at looking like I don't struggle. It's natural to put on a pious face and look like the pharisees praying in the street. Yet on that cold night that changed everything, I decided I was done with looking like I had it figured out. 

But it wasn't an easy journey, either. There's been a lot of bumps and head-meet-wall moments, especially in the last few weeks. Humanity man, you can't escape it. My poor roommate has seen me doing what I like to call "Angry Yoga" many a night. And honeys, it is just as pitiful as it sounds! I'm a pretty joyful person, but trust me, even I get a case of the grumps sometimes. Dealing with my heart attitude and loving even when I'd really, I mean reaally would rather not is still a skill I'm learning and by no means have mastered. But every day I make that choice, it gets a little easier. It becomes more of who I am. Hey, it's almost like what the bible teaches about love, life, and wisdom actually works? Crazy stuff, amiright!

So, here we are. Twelve or so months later. I've finished my first semester of bible college, I started a blog (that I never expected would be so successful, by the way! And it's all thanks to you guys!), I've been able to pour into the lives of people around me, and I've been able to grow in my own ministry. Need I even mention the leaps and bounds in personal growth God has helped me through along the way? Fifteen year old me, who barely even knew how to read her bible, would be amazed. I had some reflection time in the cold, wintery air near my sweet home yesterday and was in awe of all that God has done in my life--and I only had to just let Him. I can look back on 2016 and say that it was easily one of the best years of my life so far. A special thanks to all my amazing ladies and bros--or rather, all the people I've come to see as a second family--who made the end of this year such a blast and really worth celebrating.

As I look forward to this Christmas and the upcoming New Year, and all the new possibilities to come, I'm excited. Even just recently I've seen how God can work in my life by giving me promises, and what can happen when I try to work them out myself rather than letting God handle it all in his own time. And just when I thought I heard Him wrong, He humbled me, and held to those promises in a way that I could not have imagined. I'm in awe. I'm pumped. And I can't wait to see what challenges and changes happen in 2017. Would it be arrogant to stand up from my chair, fist bump the sky and yell, "Hey 2017, I'm ready! Bring it!"? Okay, okay, I get it. There's still some areas to grow in during the next year.

Remember, there's no formula for God's grace. And there's no formula for loving broken people. There's no formula for loving yourself, either. You only need let go, and trust the One who knows you better than you know yourself. It's a choice. It's a daily dedication. It's hard. But if I can do it, the little girl wannabe comedian/writer, then so can you. With all my love and best wishes in the new year to come,

Beth

ps. Here are some pretty pictures I've taken on the break so far. Enjoy!

Properly brewed Earl Grey, how I have missed you. Also, white poinsettias are gorgeous!

Bedroom postas. I should do some kind of decor blog at some point, pretty spaces are a secret passion of mine. 

From scratch ginger snaps, made by yours truly! Here's the recipe if you're interested.