I've just realized something.
Sometimes when I feel lonely, rejected, ignored or less than, I try and find an external way to get the validation I think that I need. It looks like posting a "hot" selfie. It looks like making my status a quote from a theological book. Sometimes it looks like flirting or going on dates with guys that I have no intention of texting back. Or it looks like stalking other girls on the internet, comparing and judging them in order to make myself feel better.
Horrible, right? Disgusting, even. Yet we all do it. We pimp ourselves out to a world that doesn't have the power to give us the comfort and belonging that we so desperately need.
I've been thinking a lot about this over the past month. I keep asking myself, "Beth, is what you're about to do God-honouring? Are you trying to sell yourself because you want attention? Where are you trying to get all this validation from?" I feel like I should know better. I feel like I'm exactly the product of the culture I try to tell people to fight against. I feel like a fake.
The truth is, we don't have to resort to comparison in order to make ourselves feel good or bad. I don't need to punish myself because my skin isn't clear enough, my hair not shiny enough, and my body not fit enough. Because that's not what worth is. When we let ourselves sit in these destructive cycles, we completely lose sight of where our worth comes from. We forget who we are.
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